here i go…

As I sit at my gate awaiting my first flight to Kinshasa, I am a mixed bag of emotions…

Surprised at how hard it was to leave the rest of my family behind this time around.  I could hear Mary Grace screaming as I stood in the security line and Matt carried her out.  Oh my heart…

Floored by the love all of you continue to pour out on us during this crazy, awesome, hugely significant time in our lives.  I was just surprised at the front doors of the airport by a group of staff members from my church who came simply to support us and pray over our family as I leave.

Unbelievably excited to get our Elizabeth back in my arms this week.  I find myself staring, staring, staring at her pictures and watching the videos of her on repeat… I can hardly believe the Lord has been so gracious to us to allow me to come back to her so quickly.

Hopeful that this trip is a sweet time of bonding with Elizabeth, void of the drama of last trip.

And most of all, the past few days have found me in tears over the goodness and faithfulness of God.  He has carried us through this journey from the very beginning and has never once let go.  In every up and down and twist and turn, He has revealed to us more of Himself and His character.  We have come to a deeper understanding of our adoption in Christ than we ever would have before. We have truly seen Romans 8:28 play out in living color as we have truly seen God work all things together for the good.

I have had people remark, “Wow, what an ordeal you guys have been through!  I guess you’ll never adopt again!”  And how quickly I shake my head and correct them.  Now, I have no clue whether we will adopt again (three kids seems like a pretty full quiver to me), BUT hear me on this…. if we never adopt again, it will. not. be. because of the craziness of this journey we’ve been on to Elizabeth.  If we knew beforehand every hiccup and every heartache that we’ve experienced, we would still do this all over again.  In a heartbeat.  Because, you’ve got to understand… He is worth it.  Of course, Elizabeth is worth it.  I would crawl (or, uh, swim) to Congo to get her home if I had to.  But I would hope that you wouldn’t view our journey as one centered on us or our child.  No, it’s been about the sacrificial, all-encompassing love of God that compels us to do crazy things like fly halfway across the world to bring an orphan into our family.  Not because it’s super holy or because it makes God loves us more or because we want to “rescue” an orphan… but because He loved us first.

It’s been a journey, that’s for sure…. and it’s not over yet.  But, for now, this girl’s got a plane to board…