that mom?

Today, I stopped by my kids’ future “school” (i.e. child development center, i.e. day care) to drop off some paperwork. Although I was met with the same smiling faces and cheerful decor, I started to freak out a bit. I started to wonder how I’d be able to leave them at this place for two full days a week. Will they starve themselves? Will they nap? Will all of my work potty training Mary Grace go down the drain? What should they wear??

And then it hit me.

I totally have the capacity to be one of those moms.

You know, an overbearing, control freak of a mom. That type. I have it in me. It was evident in the email I drafted to the director of the center that went something like this:

Dear Director of the Center,
I know you have that policy of only moving kids up to the next class once a year. And I know that since Mary Grace won’t be two until October, she won’t be moved up to the two year old class until next fall. Which means she’ll be the oldest (and, duh, smartest) in the class. I mean, she’s practically doing calculus. And is a pretty awesome pee-er in the potty. I mean, my kid pretty much rocks. Which is why she should be promoted to the two year old class. Because, let’s face it, she’ll probably bite all of the one year olds anyway.
Sincerely,
Stereotypical overbearing “my kid knows no wrong” mom

And thankfully, before I hit “send”, I was struck by the ridiculousness of it all. Yes, my kids rock. But will Mary Grace be denied entrance to William and Mary (yeah, that’s right) if she is in the one year old class this year? Why, no. Will the kids starve if they refuse to eat the lunch served them? Negative. Will they fall apart and get kicked out of the center if they refuse to nap on those little cots? Well, that’s debatable.

For the record, I did send a version of that email. A less pitiful, far less dramatic version. And I still got denied.

If I ever become “that mom”, someone please knock some much-needed sense into me. And someone please tell me that my kids (and their ridiculous mother) will survive this new world of daycare. Okay, thanks.