three easy steps to the best break ever

Last week was spring break.  Sometimes, something gets into me, and I get really ambitious delusional with my goal-making.  For instance, I may have prepped the kids for the week by throwing out discussions of jaunts to Richmond! day trips to the beach! parks! icecream! peace, love, and happiness for now and evermore amen!

And that’s exactly what we did.  Effortlessly.  Seamlessly.  Whine-less-ly.  And my kids looked this angelic the. entire. time.  The end.

Lies.  ACTUALLY, the week started off with a bang when my van broke down on the side of the road on our way home from school.  We’re talking 15 minutes into spring break, people.  The following day, it was declared totaled.

That weekend, we bought a new van.  Scratch that, Matt bought a new van.  I sent him out MINIVAN SHOPPING with his friend with two requests: (1) a van that works and (2) power doors.  I didn’t need to see the van.  I (much to Matt’s dismay) didn’t need to test-drive the van.  I just wanted a functional van with dreamy little buttons that do all of the oh-so-strenuous door sliding for me.  I’m here to tell you, my friends, that dreams do come true.

And because when we do things, we like to do ’em big, the same day we bought a new van, we also submitted an offer to buy a new house.  A house that I had fallen in love with that WASN’T EVEN ON THE MARKET.  But.  The owners were in the process of building, we were in the process of buying, and it all made perfect sense in my head.  A few phone calls, a house showing, and a wee bit of drama later, it apparently began to make sense in their heads as well because lo and behold  they ACCEPTED OUR FREAKIN OFFER.

I just can’t.

So, let’s just take a moment to review our house buying experiences over the past ten years.

House 1: Matt and I are seniors in college.  Newly engaged.  It’s spring break, and I’m at home in Richmond while Matt’s out of the country on a mission trip.  I happen to, oh you know, go house hunting, find a house, and put an offer on said house.  While my husband-to-be is OUT OF THE COUNTRY.  I mean, I did have Matt paged in the airport before his flight back to the States to give him a lil heads up that “oh hey, honey!  we bought a house!  surprise!”   So that counts for something, right?

House 2: We find the perfect house in Clayton listed on Craigslist.  We meet at the house during my lunch hour, shrug our shoulders and say “let’s go for it”, sign a few documents, and I return to work with time to spare.

House 3: We’ve already discussed this.  Clearly we don’t follow the rules of house hunting.

We attempted a family picture after our day of van and house buying.  Because OH YEAH.  It was also Easter.  Can you just see the exhaustion in our eyes?  The only thing keeping us alive at that point was caffeine and the love of Jesus.

And because the Allisons apparently just love the crazy, a few days later, this one landed in the ER.  Mary Grace woke up one morning sick, sick, sick and remained like this for hours. Mary Grace is never still.  And rarely sleeps.  And, based on her symptoms, had me convinced that she had appendicitis.  What I DIDN’T take into consideration, however, is her flair for the dramatic.  And lo and behold, she perked right on up a few hours into our ER stay and was back at 100% in time to gallop out of the hospital’s doors.  No really.  She galloped.

So, that was fun.

And THEN, to add some more (good. finally.) excitement to the week, Matt had a birthday!  It was actually really good timing because, while it may have looked like I only bought him shoes and a book for his birthday, I ACTUALLY bought him a minivan and a new mortgage that week!  Woohoo!   A 32nd birthday to beat all birthdays!  He’s so lucky.

So, while last week nearly did me in with its, uh, excitement, we did manage to squeeze in some quiet.

A few rooftop picnics.

And even, shock of all shocks, one of my spring break bucket list items- a trip to the zoo.

It’s funny.  I had been feeling a little guilty about the past week.  How so many of our exciting to-dos were left undone and how so much of our time was spent on houses and broken cars.  Until this morning, the first morning back at school, when Carson was chomping at the bit to get to school.  “There’s so much to tell everyone!  SO MUCH happened last week!” he said.

So, dear parents, stop burdening yourself with unattainable goals for your child’s school breaks!  Stop beating yourself up over unfulfilled bucket lists!  Just review my three easy steps to the BEST BREAK EVER:

(1) Sell and pack your home. Buy a new home. Preferably a new home that the sellers don’t even know they’re selling yet.  Because drama = SO MUCH FUN!!

(2) Have your car break down in a very dramatic fashion. At the most inopportune time ever.  And shell out way too much money for a new minivan.

(3) And finally, the ER.  Anything at the ER = so much street cred.

Pin that.